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The Mark, Tom and Travis Show

 

1. Dumpweed 2. Don't Leave Me 3. Aliens Exist
4. Family Reunion 5. Going Away To College 6. What's My Age Again?
7. Dick Lips 8. Blow Job 9. Untitled
10. Voyeur 11. Pathetic 12. Adam's Song
13. Peggy Sue 14. Wendy Clear 15. Carousel
16. All The Small Things 17. Mutt 18. The Country Song
19. Dammit 20. Man Overboard  


 

1. Dumpweed


It's understood, I said it many ways
Too scared to run, I'm too scared to stay
I said I'd leave, I could never leave her
And if I did, you know I'd never cheat her
But this I ask, it's what I want to know
How would you feel, if I should choose to go
Another guy, you think it'd be unlikely
Another guy, you think he'd wanna fight me

She's a dove, she's a fucking nightmare
Unpredictable, it was my mistake to stay here
On the go, it's way too late to play
I need a girl that I can train

I heard it once, I'm sure I heard it twice
My dad used to give me all of his advice
He would say "you gotta turn your back and run now
Come on, son, you haven't got a chance now."

She's a dove, she's a fucking nightmare
Unpredictable, it was my mistake to stay here
On the go and it's way too late to play
I need a girl that I can train
She's a dove, she's a fucking nightmare
Unpredictable, it was my mistake to stay here
On the go and it's way too late to play
I need a girl that I can train

Need a girl that I can train
Need a girl that I can train
Turn your back and run now
You haven't got a chance now

Need a girl that I can train
Need a girl that I can train
Turn your back and run now
You haven't got a chance now


2. Don't Leave Me


Don't leave me all alone
Just drop me off at home
I'll be fine
It's not the first
Just like last time but a little worse and

She said I'm not the one that she thinks about
And she said its tough being firm, I just bring her down
I said dont let your future be destroyed by my past
She said "Don't let my door hit your ass."

One more chance
I'll try this time
I'll give you yours
I wont take mine
I'll listen up, pretend to care
Go on ahead, I'll meet you there

And she said i'm not the one that she thinks about
And she said its tough being fun, I just bring her down
I said dont let your future be distroyed by my past
She said "Don't let my door hit your ass."

Let's try this one more time with feeling
One more time with feeling
One more time with feeling
One more time with feeling
One more time with feeling

She said I'm not the one that she thinks about
And she said its tough being firm, I just bring her down
I said dont let your future be destroyed by my past
She said "Don't let my door hit your ass."

Don't leave me all alone
Just drop me off at home
And I'll be fine



3. Aliens Exist


Hey mom, there's something in the back room
Hope it's not the creatures from above
You used to read me stories, as if my dreams were boring
We all know conspiracies are dumb

What if people knew that these were real?
I leave my closet door open all night
I know the CIA would say
What you hear is all here say
Wish someone would tell me what was right

Up all night long and there's something very wrong
And I know it must be late, been gone since yesterday
I'm not like you guys, I'm not like you

I'm still a skeptic, yes you know me
Been best friends and will be until we die
I got an injection, a fear from the abduction
My best friend thinks I'm just telling lies
Alright

Up all night long and there's something very wrong
And I know it must be late, been gone since yesterday
I'm not like you guys, I'm not like you

Dark and scary, ordinary, explanation, information
Nice to know ya', paranoia
Where's my mother? By my father

Up all night long and there's something very wrong
And I know it must be late, been gone since yesterday
I'm not like you guys, Swell majestic lies


4. Family Reunion


Shit piss fuck cunt
Cocksucker motherfucker
Tits fart turd and twat
x4

I fucked your mom!
I wanna suck my dad, and my mommy too..
Oh, is this thing on?


5. Going Away To College


Please take me by the hand
It's so cold out tonight
I'll put blankets on the bed
I won't turn out the lights
Just don't forget to
Think about me and I
Won't forget you
I'll write you once a week she said

Why does it feel the same to fall in love or break it off?
And if young love is just a game then I must have missed the kick off
Don't depend on if she ever followed you or anything but
I'd go through hell for you and

I haven't been this scared in a long time
And i'm so unprepared, so here's your valentine
A bouquet of clumsy words, a simple melody
This world's an ugly place, but you're so beautiful to me

I think about the times, she kissed me after class and
She put up with my friends, I acted like an ass
I ditched my lecture, to watch the girls play soccer
Is my picture still hanging in her locker?

I haven't been this scared in a long time
And i'm so unprepared, so here's your valentine
A bouquet of clumsy words, a simple melody
This world's an ugly place, but you're so beautiful

I haven't been this scared in a long time
And i'm so unprepared, so here's your valentine
A bouquet of clumsy words, a simple melody
This world's an ugly place, but you're so beautiful



6. What's My Age Again?


I took her out,
It was a Friday night.
I Wore Cologne
To get the feeling right.
We started making out,
And she took off my pants,
But then I turned on the T.V.
And thats about the time she walked away from me.
Nobody likes you when your twenty-three.
And are still more amused by TV shows
What the hell is A.D.D.?
My friends say I should act my age,
Whats my age again?
Whats my age again?

And later on,
On the drive home.
I called her mom,
From a pay phone.
I said I was the cops,
And your husbands in jail.
The state looks down on sodomy,
And thats about the time that bitch hung up on me.
Nobody likes you when your twenty-three.
And are still more amused by prank phone calls.
What the hell is call I.D.?
My friends say I should act my age.
Whats my age again?
Whats my age again?

(Solo)

And thats about the time she walked away from me.
Nobody likes you when your twenty-three.
And you still act like your in freshman year.
What the hell is wrong with me?
My friends say I should act my age.
Whats my age again?
Thats about the time that she broke up with me.
Noone should take themselves so seriously.
With many years I've had to fall in line.
Why would you wish that on me?
I never want to act my age.
Whats my age again?
Whats my age again?

(Solo)

Whats my age again?
 


7. Dick Lips

Please, mom
you ground me all the time
I know that I was right
all along

And I'm hoping
remember I'm a kid
I know not what I did
just having fun

You couldn't wait for something new
and yesterday I thought of you
it left me to think as if I couldn't walk away
it's too late, I fell through

Nothing to lose
a boy who went out when he finished all his chores
nothing to do
they can't trust me because I blew it once before

Shit, dad
please don't kick my ass
I know I've seen you trashed
at least one time

Can I blame it
on one of my dumb friends
it's been awhile
since I have used that line

You couldn't wait (you couldn't wait)
for something new (for something new)
and yesterday (and yesterday)
I thought of you (I thought of you)
it left me to think as if I couldn't walk away
it's too late, I fell through

Nothing to lose
a boy who went out when he finished all his chores
nothing to do
they can't trust me because I blew it once before

(Alright)

Nothing to lose
a boy who went out when he finished all his chores
nothing to do
they can't trust me because I blew it once before

------------

Tom: Hey, uh, Mark.
Mark: What, what the fuck do you want Tom? I'm sick of
"hey Mark, hey, hey Mark, hey Mark, hey look at this,
hey, look at, look at how I can make it bigger if I rub
it, look at this, hey Mark, come here."
Tom: No, seriously, Mark, hey, hey Mark. I wasn't really
masturbating. I've never done that. I was, uh... I was
inspecting my testicles for weird bumps.
Mark: That's what you say. That's what you say if your
parents ever catch you. "I wasn't masturbating, I was just
cleaning it and it went off."
Tom: You guys wanna hear a song that I wrote about four days
ago? Cause you really don't have a choice, you might as
well be into it.
Mark: Yeah, you might as well act like you want to hear it
cause otherwise we'll play it twice.
Tom: Yeah, you bastards. Song goes like this.


8. Blow Job

It would be nice to have a blow job
It would be nice to have a blow job
It would be nice to have a blow job
It would be nice to have a blow job
It would be nice to have a blow job
It would be nice to have a blow job
It would be nice to have a blow job
It would be nice to have a blow job
from your mom


9. Untitled

I think of awhile ago
We might have had it all
But I was so stupid then
You needed time to grow

But now just as things change
As well my feelings do
In time things rearrange
I am so sick of chasing you

But what do I get 'cause I just seem to lose
You make me regret those times I spent with you
And playing those games as I wait for your call
And now I give up, so goodbye and so long

It's not a change of pace
This time I'll get it right
It's not a change of taste
I was the one there last night

You have your other friends
They were there when you cried
Didn't mean to hurt you then
Best friends just won't leave your side

But what do I get 'cause I just seem to lose
You make me regret those times I spent with you
And playing those games as I wait for your call
And now I give up, so goodbye and so long

It's not a change of pace
This time I'll get it right
It's not a change of taste
I was the one there last night

When I needed you most
When I needed a friend
You let me down now
Like I let you down then

So sorry, it's over
(Ahh...)


10. Voyeur


And when the day ends I'm sure she feels sorrow
The lonely guy I am, I like to watch her change
I've been here two days, I'll sure be here tomorrow
I'd eat her out if she were on my dinner plate

(And I wish)
I wish she'd be more kind now
I'm out of luck 'cause the shades are pulled down
I've seen everything there is to be shown
I followed her all the way home

I can't be too cool in a tree with my pants down
The air is cold and I've got splinters in my feet
She caught me once, but I don't think that she cares now
Unlike before, her view is blocked by a leaf

(And I wish)
I wish she'd be more kind now
I'm out of luck 'cause the shades are pulled down
I've seen everything there is to be shown
I followed her all the way home

I bet this last time's the one time too many
The rush of waiting is burning in my head
Right after supper her brother shower's twice a week
He kicks my ass so much, that filthy white inbred

I've made mistakes by looking in the wrong window
Her dad is big and I've never seen his face
I've been here two days, and I'll sure be here tomorrow
My lady's so sweet, she likes to entertain

(And I wish)
I wish she'd be more kind now
I'm out of luck 'cause the shades are pulled down
I've seen everything there is to be shown
I followed her all the way home

I bet this last time's the one time too many
The rush of waiting is burning in my head
Right after supper her brother shower's twice a week
He kicks my ass so much, that filthy white inbred

(1, 2, 3, 4)


11. Pathetic


I know I'm pathetic, I knew when she said it
A loser, a bum's what she called me when I drove her home
There's no more waiting and sure no more wasting
I've done all I can but she still wants to be left alone

You got, you got, you got to help me out
And I'll try not to argue
No one, no one, no one likes a drop-out
Mistakes are hard to undo

Don't pull me down, this is where I belong
I think I'm different, but I'm the same and I'm wrong
Don't pull me down, this is where I belong
I think I'm different, this is where I belong

I think it's disgusting, believing and trusting
If I gave a fuck there would be nothing for me to prove
Although it's amusing, it's slightly confusing
I've done all I can but her ego is still hard to move

You got, you got, you got to help me out
And I'll try not to argue
No one, no one, no one likes a drop-out
Mistakes are hard to undo

Don't pull me down, this is where I belong
I think I'm different, but I'm the same and I'm wrong
Don't pull me down, this is where I belong
I think I'm different, this is where I belong

Don't pull me down, this is where I belong
I think I'm different, this is where I belong



12. Adam's Song



I never thought I'd die alone
I laughed the loudest, who'd have known?
I traced the cord back to the wall
No wonder it was never plugged in at all
I took my time, I hurried up
The choice was mine, I didn't think enough
I'm too depresed to go on, you'll be sorry when I'm gone

I never conqured, rarely came
16 just held such better days
Days when I still felt alive
We couldn't wait to get outside
The world was wide, too late to try
The tour was over we'd surivied
I couldn't wait till I got home
To pass the time in my room alone

I never thought I'd die alone
Another six months, I'll be unknown
Give all my things to all my friends
You'll never step foot in my room again
You'll close it off, board it up
Remember the time that I spilled the cup
Of apple juice in the hall
Please tell mom this is not her fault

I never conqured, rarely came
16 just held such better days
Days when I still felt alive
We couldn't wait to get outside
The world was wide, too late to try
The tour was over we'd surivied
I couldn't wait till I got home
To pass the time in my room alone

I never conqured, rarely came
Tomorrow holds such better days
Days when I can still feel alive
When I can't wait to get outside
The world is watching
The time goes by
The tour is over I'd surivied
I can't wait till I get home
To pass the time in my room alone


13. Peggy Sue


I know what it's like to be alone sitting in your room
Listening to all the doubts that your parents have to say to you

And as your head gets all cluttered inside
Try to stay awake
Everything they say are lies
That's all the shit that you ever have to take

So hold in all your aggresions
Because your grinding your teeth on down to
The bottom of your chin

It's not easy or so damn pleasing
To not laugh at everything they say that
They tell you what to be you're not alone

I know what it's like to be denied at everything you do
It's not the same reason why that
Makes you change the things that you once knew

As your head gets all cluttered inside
Give more than you take
Everything they say are lies
That's all the shit that you ever have to take

So hold in all your aggresions
Because your grinding your teeth on down to
The bottom of your chin

It's not easy or so damn pleasing
To not laugh at everything they say that
They tell you what to be you're not alone

You say you want to take off your shoes just to
Walk barefoot down the street
Just to be the things that you can be
Just live for one more week (Go!)

You say you want to take off your shoes just to
Walk barefoot down the street
Just to be the things that you can be
Just live for one more week

So hold in all your aggresions
Because your grinding your teeth on down to
The bottom of your chin

It's not easy or so damn pleasing
To not laugh at everything they say that
They tell you what to be you're not alone


14. Wendy Clear


Let's take the boat out on the bay
Forget your job for just one day
I wish it didn't have to be so bad
It might be inappropriate because
Of the way our friend just dropped, oh yeah

But I'd play with fire to break the ice
And I'd play with a nuclear device
Is it something I'll regret?
Why do I want what I can't get?
I wish it didn't have to be so bad

The three-date theory is getting old
Eveyone is getting left out in the cold
I wish it didn't have to be so bad
So I'll see you with another guy
Who pretends not to hear you when you cry, oh yeah
I wish it didn't have to be so bad

But I'd play with fire to break the ice
And I'd play with a nuclear device
Is it something I'll regret?
Why do I want what I can't get?
I wish it didn't have to be so bad

Movin' on, Movin' on, Movin' on and on and on
Movin' on, Movin' on, Movin' on and on and on

But I'd play with fire to break the ice
And I'd play with a nuclear device
Is it something I'll regret?
Why do I want what I can't get?
I wish it didn't have to be so bad
I wish it didn't have to be so bad
I wish it didn't have to be so bad
I wish it didn't have to be so bad


15. Carousel


I talk to you every now and then
I never felt so alone again
I stop to think at a wishing well
My thoughts send me on a carousel

Here I am standing on my own
Not a motion from the telephone
I know not a reason why
Solitudes a reason to die

Just you wait and see
As school life is a
It is a woken dream
Aren't you feeling alone?

I guess its just another
I guess its just another
I guess its just another night alone

Now as I walk down the street
I need a job just to sleep in sheets
Buying food every once in a while
But not enough to purchase a smile

A tank of gas is a treasure to me
I know now that nothing is free
I talk to you every now and then
I never felt so alone again

Just you wait and see
As school life is a
It is a woken dream
Aren't you feeling alone?

I guess its just another
I guess its just another
I guess its just another night alone



16. All The Small Things


All the small things
True care, truth brings
I'll take one lift
Your ride, best trip
Always, I know you'll be at my show
Watching, waiting
Commiserating

Say it ain't so
I will not go
Turn the lights off
Carry me home

(na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na....)

Late night
Come home
Work sucks
I know
She left me roses by the stairs
Surprises let me know she cares

Say it ain't so
I will not go
Turn the lights off
Carry me home

(na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na....)

Say it ain't so
I will not go
Turn the lights off
Carry me home

Keep your head still
I'll be your thrill
The night will go on
My little windmill

Say it ain't so
I will not go
Turn the lights off
Carry me home

Keep your head still
I'll be your thrill
The night will go on
The night will go on
My little windmill



17. Mutt

He pauses shaving and he tells himself that he is the bomb
she has her curlers set, her credit cards are paying the funds
he's not that old, I've been told a strong sexual goal
he goes out everyday she goes every way, oh yeah
they don't even care at all

She's open waiting for more
and I know he's only looking to score
and it is way too unhealthy
often they've typically
been starved for attention before

She smokes a dozen and he doesn't seem to notice the smell
he took the seat off his own bike because the way that it felt
he wants to bone this I know she is ready to blow
they go out every night his pants are super tight, oh yeah
they don't even care at all

She's open waiting for more
(she's open waiting for more)
and I know he's only looking to score
(he's only looking to score)
and it is way too unhealthy
often they've typically
been starved for attention before

She's open waiting for more
and I know he's only looking to score
and it is way too unhealthy
often they've typically
been starved for attention before
(take off your pants!)

------------

Tom: We really love each other, we are the best of friends.
Fuck Mark, Travis... you guys mean a lot to me man. You know
what I mean? He needs some ointment. Hey, I think every single
pharmasutical drug should be, uh, in oinment form, and it can
only go on your balls. Ya know, like, if you have a cold, you
gotta rub ointment on your balls.


18. The Country Song

Uh oh. Uh oh. Oh shit.
Oh fuck, I'm gonna start dancin'!

Take off your pants, dad
your penis is the biggest thing
my butt's ever had
'cause I know, it feels so good
shut your fucking face, uncle fucker!



19. Dammit

(Take your pants off!)
It's alright / to tell me / what you think / about me
I won't try / to argue / or hold it / against you
I know that / you're leaving / you must have / your reasons
the season / is calling / and your pictures / are falling down
(they're falling down)

The steps that / I retrace / the sad look / on your face
the timing / and structure / did you hear / that he fucked her?
a day late / a buck short / I'm writing / the report
on losing / and failing / when I move / I'm flailing now

And it's happened once again
I'll turn to a friend
someone that understands
sees through the master plan

But everybody's gone
and I've been here for too long
to face this on my own
well I guess this is growing up
well I guess this is growing up

And maybe / I'll see you / at a movie / sneak preview
you'll show up / and walk by / on the arm / of that guy
and I'll smile / and you'll wave / we'll pretend / it's okay
the charade / it won't last / when he's gone / I won't come back

And it'll happen once again
you'll turn to a friend
someone that understands
and sees through the master plan

But everybody's gone
and you've been there for too long
to face this on your own
well I guess this is growing up

Well, I guess this is growing up
well, I guess this is growing up
well, I guess this is growing up
well, I guess this is growing up
well, I guess this is growing up

------------

Mark: Alright! Thanks a lot you guys! woo!
We'll see ya next time, motherfuckers!
Tom has no dick! No dick at all people!
Thanks a lot and goodnight!


20. Man Overboard

So sorry, it's over
so sorry, it's over
there's so much more that I wanted and (so sorry, it's over)
there's so much more that I needed and
time keeps moving on and on and on... (so sorry, it's over)
soon we'll all be gone

Let's take some time to talk this over
you're outta line and rarely sober
we can't depend, on your excuses
because in the end it's fucking useless
you can only lean, on me for so long
bring the ship about to watch a friend drown
sittin' out on a ledge, begged you to come down
you can only lean, on me for so long

I remember shots without a chaser
absent minded thoughts now you're a stranger
cover up the scars, put on your game face
left you in a bar, to try and save face
you can only lean, on me for so long
bring the ship about to watch a friend drown
sittin' out on a ledge, begged you to come down
you can only lean, on me for so long

So sorry, it's over
so sorry, it's over
there's so much more that I wanted and (so sorry, it's over)
there's so much more that I needed and
time keeps moving on and on and on... (so sorry, it's over)
soon we'll all be gone

Man on a mission
can't say I miss him around
insider information
hand in your resignation
loss of a good friend
best of intentions I found
tight lipped procrastination
ya, later... see you around