|"Lets here it
for blow jobs everyone."
"We are not a stars. We are all just dorks in a band"
"I do not have a girlfriend, I have a dog."
"Let's hear it for orgasms, people!"
"Nothing's uglier or stupider looking than a naked guy, and
making a video out of that was a little uncomfortable and fun at
the same time."
"We play poopy poppy punk like stuff"
"However... the prognosis of Tom's canker sore is pretty much
the same as the prognosis about his penis. It's not the biggest
one Dr. Bruce has seen but it's the placement of it that bothers
"Tom likes boobies, he breast fed until he was 14"
"Look at me... look at me... I need the attention, oooh I'm punk
rock I got some tatoos, I got some piercings. If I'm gonna get
some piercings then I want everyone to see it...I don't need to
advertise my punkness. A real punk doesn't need to show off...Its
like a Karate man... the Karate man bleed on the inside.
- To sum up Tom
in one word would be: feeminine.
- All we wanted to do was to headline Sooma.
- I was always a loner.
- So, yeah, travelling sucks.
- I don't feel like I'm a stable person at all.
- My idea of total misery is sitting in traffic.
- Yes, I've cried at sad movies.
- My mom hates the title, she told me thhe other day, 'Your
grandmother keeps asking what the title of the new record is,
but I won't tell her.' *about Enema of the State*
- It's all happy, sing along love songs.. *about the new record*
- None of us really surf that much; surffing is really hard. You
have to spend a lot of time in the water and there's no other
sport in the world that actually has monsters that want to eat
you while you're doing it.
- The recent history of San Diego music came from the grunge
- A lot of the punk-rock scene is usuallly against people
associating themselves with products.
- Blink fan: If you look in a crowd and there's one person just
getting the shit beat out of them, it's probably the Blink fan.
- Skater kids don't take themselves seriiously, because they've
mostly been pigeonholed as losers.
- I totally masturbate! And I jack off! Whooooooo!
- I think age is a stupid number.
- I can't speak for any other bands, butt don't like anger, I
don't like aggression. I hate music that's all about that.
- The whole punk-rock elitism thing has gone away, and now
people are more accepting of music as music; instead of as
- I came from punk rock, but who knows iif I'm punk.
- I'll be the first to admit I'm not an accomplished bass player.
- I know I've got a disgusting body, butt I think it's funny, so
I'm gonna make people laugh at it.
- If you ever end up there, you really ppissed off God. *about
- I think there's nothing more awkward oor stupid looking than a
- We're like, Fisher-Price: My First Punnk Band.
- I was very direction less and stupid.. *on his earlier years*
- I like boats.
- It would suck to go to your grave wonddering what you could
have done with your band if you didn't try.
- Make yourself do something stupid, so when you really do
something stupid you won't feel so bad.
- Never let anyone tell you how to live your life.
- If at first you don't succeed, pay sommeone to do it.
- Screw the people that don't understand.
- I don't like the taste of beer and icee cream gives me
- Disney movies are fuckin' bitchin'. - I have no idea why
people like our bannd. Maybe bad taste is in.
- If we tried to write about politics, yyou'd realize that we're
all a bunch of idiots.
- And anyone
that calls me a sell-out iss just jealous.
A real punk is punk on the inside!
-Our biggest hit had a video where we maade fun of boy bands.
Why we would then be lumped into that is beyond me.
-The only thing that scares me about coccaine is death.
-My old band [Of All Things] was just abbout to start playing,
and right then the acid hit me. I threw my bass down and ran
like five miles into the desert. *on his first acid trip*
-We're not straight edge; we just don't talk about it. *on
-Farts and poop are still funny and willl always be funny.
-Yes. she does. You can tell. *on Brittaany Spears and if she
has fake boobs*
-The thing that makes me happiest in thee world is hanging out
with my friends
"This is for everyone here who has a penis or vagina and
especially for those who have both"
"I can have sex with each and every girl here....and be home in
time for dinner"
"I've seen Travis naked!"
"Our favorite thinkgs in the world are pee-pee and doo-doo."
"They always want to see how big our penises are."
"Tom works out everyday dude."
"Disney movies are fuckin bitching."
"I see my job in the band as basically on stage to be an idot,
act like a jackass and to make a total fool out of myself
"I would go to the wall for my band and for my friends and thats
just how I am. It's all about perserverance and attitude."
"This is Travi's sweat because we fucked in the butt. Travis
fucked me in the butt and I sweated so much that I came."
"Alright if I had to sleep with a man it would be Harrison Ford,
beautiful in this band. Its much simpler than the nine piece I
was in before."
"Mark and Tom have all the small things ... I have all the big
"Awe, are you sayin you never dyed your hair? Mr. Purple hair
like 2 months ago..."
"I want a tatoo of a sailor ship, all the way from my wrist to
my, to my tittie!"
"Dude, your so faulty...Is this..Is this your beer?"
"I'm kinda sweaty why? - Wanna go do something?"
"I wanted to be a Pro Skater but I kept on hurting myself to the
point where I couldn't even do it anymore..."
"She [Janine] was super-horny. And we were in our underwear. It
was good. That's the one thing I can really say about it. "
"Who's beer is this?"
"We are just a silly little punk band."
"If I were a condom I'd be too big."
"All the Italian restaurants around here are closed."
- I'm the guy on tour who will do his own thing.
- I'm easily irritated.
- Misery is flying in an airplane.
- I've never made it a point to be different from everyone else.
- She was super horny. *about Janine* - Well, most of the
shows we play are thhe Warped tour, but in our free time, pretty
much everyone skateboards.
- I listen to everything from jazz to reeggae to heavy metal and
I kind of combine everything to make something different.
- I think they're super funny, but you wwould never hear me
talking like them. *on Tom and Mark*
- Seeing the Police and not being able tto be the drummer. *most
heartbreaking concert experience*
grown up at all since I was a freshmen in high school, and
neither has my penis."
"After asked about getting spit on in concert he told someone -
"Usually I'm too drunk to really care about it. Sometimes I'll
look at my shirt and see a bunch of loogies and get all grossed
out, but it's all in the name of fun."
"For me, sex with a girl is a race to orgasm, and I am
"Well, enemas sure brought my family closer together."
"I masturbated like 5 times in the last 24 hours, it hurts, i
think it's gonna fall off"
" I really enjoy, uh, getting make-up and my butt worked on.
What I do normally before a show is I get my butt spackled,
shaved, waxed, massaged, and buffed..."
"Some people think we're idiots and perverts, which we are."
"We don't want to act like adults. Anybody who can stay in a
state of adolescence will be much better off later on. Look at
people who are working nine-to-five jobs out of college, and
look at professional skateboarders or guys in punk bands," he
says. "See who's having more fun."
"I don't know why I am in this band, I am the only guy that
likes girls. I am the only one that believes that guys and girls
should be together and that babies should be made the penis
vagina way. The old way. These guys are trying to create some
weird wacky, maybe the penis in the butt will get a kid, I don't
know.Ii don't think that works" Mark: " What?" Tom: " No, don't
come here and try to act like your heterosexual!"
"I wanna have an orgasm on stage here, all I need is some light
kisses to the tip of my penis. Just little small ones."
"Marks penis only turns in a 90 degree angle."
"I study that stuff, man," he says. "UFOs ... I'll tell you that
I think in the next year the US government is going to come out
and admit that aliens have visited Earth. The reason I think
that is that I listen to this radio show at home which deals
with all this stuff."
"Hey..how old are you? 15? OH MY GOD!!! put those things away."
"I don't think god is happy with the words we say onstage.."
"Why do you keep throwing clothes at me? Obviously you dont like
what I'm wearing" (Concert)
"Look! Look! I'm getting a blow job right now!! Thanks whakeem..wait,
wait, I dont know if I can recover that fast"
"Its the Boobie Monster!!"
"My nutz taste better with fudge."
"I'm not gay, a lot of people think I'm gay. I have a girlfriend,
she thinks I'm gay."
"We never think of anything funny, and lets just accept the fact
that we are not going to be funny, our jokes are stupid and no
one is going to laugh. Once we came at peace in our hearts all
the stress got taken off."
"I drank a shit load of caffine. That shit shrinks your balls
but it wakes you the fuck up!"
"Please don't throw your dirty toliet paper, I'm not hungry."
"I model Enema Bags." (Underwear)
Mark: "Watch out for the big cone of styrofoam."
Tom: "I usually stuff those things in my pants, makes it look
- I can't live without Mexican food. - I spy on my dad when
he's taking a shoower just like everybody else.
- Punk has nothing to do with what label you're on.
- All the selling out talk is really oveerrated, the funny thing
is it hardly ever
comes from bands, it comes from some kid who thinks they're so
punk because they have a purple mohawk.
- People always throw things at us.
- Right now people think I'm ugly, but in 150 years they might
think I'm handsome.
- I applaud anyone who thinks I'm good-llooking and invite them
into my world.
- I call everyone stinky butt.
- Anybody that is going to hear the recoord is going to think,
'The songs totally suck, but the production is so amazing, I'm
going to go buy the record.' *on Enema of the State*
- Right after Seattle all eyes went to San Diego.
- As long as we helped you discover thatt the world is a
- I think we need therapy.
- I think it's so incredible that there are all these boy bands
out there, like the Backstreet Boys and N'sync. They're all so
bad! It hurts me, I've cried!
- And they choreograph everything, incluuding the sex they have
with each other after the shows! *about boy bands*
- I don't think that listening to the Beeastie Boys is
embarrassing because I think they are a really great band.
-The only reason in the world that I bouught a computer was to
look up UFO sites.
- It's all on this giant fiberoptic systtem tied into the
Pentagon and they are monitoring everything we do and we're all
- We write about relationships, and justt growing up though high
school, that kind of stuff.
- Success is strange.
- When you go from selling no records too selling lots of them,
you have to wonder-did your mom buy them all? Are they just
sitting in your garage?
- It's a travelling punk rock barbecue. *about Warped Tour*
- I hated, hated, hated my job. You knoww those people who hate
there job? That was me.
- We were bored and we couldn't get chiccks. So we decided if
we'd be in a band, that would take care of two problems at once.
- I might be a dork, but I don't want too be a jerk.
- There are far too many people out therre who take themselves
- All in the name of science of course!
- We don't want to grow up, we never wannt to grow up!
- We're just really lucky. We're not bettter than anybody else.
- Please don't throw your dirty toilet ppaper, I'm not hungry.
- And we don't stay up all night drivingg, now we stay up all
- I just want to make a UFO movie.
- These days, if we're not sleeping, we''re trying to get food
or we're watching TV.
- We pull off looking stupid very well. We can do that without
- I am such a freak.
-I used to drink a lot of beer, but I waas just getting fat as
-We don't want to be Green Day!
-The worst thing in the world is shit, aand shit comes out of
-There's too many rad things to stick inn your butt besides a